Separate lives.

I'd like to start this one out with just a little venting.
Hi. Good night? It's like, eleven o' clock and I'm blogging. What does that say about me? Well, it shows that I was just looking at one of my old friend's blog, seeing how he keeps up with his, and how I should probably should too. :)
Anyway.
Spring break has been excruciatingly tough on me. For those who follow me, the very few, if I haven't told you yet, you're finding out now. Usually I try to keep personal feelings out of public reach, because I hate it when people feel bad for me, or take pity on me. I know it's out of care and kindness, but I don't know how to react. Especially when people say "I'm sorry." I don't get it. What are you sorry for? It doesn't make sense to me. Anyway. On the Friday of the last day before break, my mom told me some very disheartening news. She was divorcing my father. I could tell what she was going to say even before she said it. She had that bad news look on her face. She asked me if I had any questions, and I said no. Truth is, I had too many to sort through because I was busy in a sort of catatonic state. Ellen, the therapist my mom took me to because she didn't have the heart to tell me by herself , didn't even say much. I felt like she didn't really do her job, she just said things I already knew.
We got home.
I packed.
And I went to my friends house.
I ended up staying there for a good portion of my break.
I had no idea. None. I did not see it coming.
I hate to think of my mom this way, I know it's for the best, but. I know this will pass, but. I feel like she's being so selfish. She's breaking up with my dad, and not caring what happens to me, she can't stand to be with him at all that she would rather make me suffer and live in two places just so she doesn't have to be around him. I don't know where these feelings came from. Suddenly, they are here. I feel guilty, but that's what I'm feeling at the moment. Don't ask me why. If you do read this, please, don't make a case to me that "She's doing it for you," because she's not. She's getting rid of our family, for herself. UGH. Is this like the third stage of grief? Anger? I seem to be going through the steps all goofed up like.
 So. Now I'm home. But it doesn't feel like home. Actually, it does feels like home. My dad and my mom are home. We've been living together for weeks. She told me that things would happen. That things would change. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. I can't take it anymore. It's the anticipation. It's too much. All the uncertainty is eating me alive. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. I've planned my whole life out. It hurts me so much that I can't plan this, not knowing whats next or when it's going to happen. I'm not recognizing this as something that's going to change anything because nothing has changed, but it's going to change everything. I hate it. Hate. It. I hate all the pretending like it's okay, everything's okay, that nothing has happened. I think I'd rather have them fighting. I don't show it, that it's affecting me, but it is. Everything is going to change. Sometimes, I just have to ask, why me? To those who haven't been affected by divorce, it may be a hard concept to understand, how it can affect a child so much, but to those who have, I really would like some advice. I feel like I won't be able to stand it, being around my mom so much. She can be overbearing. I love her dearly, but sometimes I need my space. I'm afraid that I won't have opportunities like I used to. I don't know when things are going to change. I don't know if I want them to sooner, or later. I don't know anything. I
I've been so stressed that I've buried myself into extra curricular activities and neglected my school work.
It's times like this when people usually look to god for guidance, but for some reason, I've turned away. I don't know why. I feel like I don't have time, which is just plain stupid. I've stopped going to Slam meetings, because then I'd have to face the fact, and feel stupid because most of the time I have no idea what they're saying. I never had any schooling, I've never read the bible. I feel so out of place. I don't know why I even go. I love god, but my parents don't see it at all. They never did.

WOW. That was emotional. I'm done with that for a LONG LONG TIME.
In other news! My phone has grillz! I still have paint on my legs! I like eggs! (anybody remember debbie?)

And as always comment, share the love, protest the war, whatever.
I love feedback!

Veganism...Oops.

So. I remained a Vegan until yesterday. The reason for my quitting was..well my health was at risk. So. Milk and Eggs for me.
Bears lost the biggest game of the season today. No superbowl for us. *exasperated sigh* THIS SUCKS. I was so happy that we were about to get to the superbowl! But the stupid packers had to ruin it. Jay Cutler had a KNEE injury!!! God. And with people always picking on me for it? It's getting really...I don't like it. Especially today. I was quite angry about the game and I kinda lost it. I don't make fun of the Packers! :'(
Not cool. Well, Yeah. I'm quite sad. Dejected is a better adjective.

Finals are upon us. I had my first three on Friday. Haha. Piece of cake. Here's my finals schedule.

Friday: Choir, English, Health. :D
Monday: Science, Orchestra, Study Hall :D
Tuesday: Math, US History :/

So there. I have it EASY the first two days. So. I've been able to put of studying for my last day for a while.. :) And I continue to procrastinate as we speak. I figured I'd do it Tomorrow during study hall and after school for three or four hours. Then I have show choir. Really Mrs. N? I don't think she gets the idea of Finals. That you actually have to study for finals other than choir. Haha.
That's it. :)
And as always,
Comment? Share the love? Protest the War? I love feedback!
A more Milky Katie.

Veganism Day One

My my, has it been quite a roller coaster lately! Thank you to my followers or to the people who read this blog by the way.
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!
Vegan.
Yep, you heard that right. Vegan. From the girl who loves cheese and cannot live without eggs?
Well, I guess things can change, right?
So. Change. New year, new attitude. Since one cannot control many things when one is in High school, you may grow onto ugly habits that stick with you during a stressful peroid. Now I usually don't reveal personal stuff on this blog, for I feel that it is strictly for public view and not my own, but I felt it would give it a tad of personal touch. So. I was looking through my ornaments and found one that I had never used because of the unpleasant, or rather pleasant, memories it brought back from a previous friendship. But as my mother scurried around taking the lovely ornaments of the plastic shrub of a tree we have for christmas, I brought the ornament out from permanent retirement and replaced it on the tree. My mother, too busy to notice my sniffles, went on with business and kept on cleaning. Now I know my reader-base is mostly if not all females, so I'll just say that Aunt flo and Uncle tom were not helping the situation. :) So, I shook it off and removed the ornament and gave it to my mother to put away with all of the other dusty sacred ornaments and went on to make some vegan sipping chocolate. That made me feel tons better. So, if you're feeling down in the dumps, make some sipping chocolate.
Totally Delish Vegan Hot Chocolate


Ingredients:



•1 Tbsp. vegan cocoa powder

•1-2 Tbsp. vegan sugar

•1 cup non-dairy milk

•¼ tsp. vanilla or almond extract

Directions:



1.In a large mug, mix together cocoa powder, sugar, and 2 Tbsp. non-dairy milk.

2.Whisk together with a small fork until blended.

3.Add the rest of the non-dairy milk and microwave on high for one minute; stir.

4.Add almond or vanilla extrac and stir.



SO GOOD.
So. There. There's a vegan recipe for yous!
Ps. Shakespeare can go die...And he can take his books with him this time.

And as always...




Comment? Share the love? Protest the war? Whatever!

I would love some feedback, Positive or Negative. :)

BLOOD II

OHMAHGAH.
Sooos.
Guess what?
I GOT TO DONATE BLOOD. Um, yeah. Be jealous.
I walked in...LONG LINE...and then got called thirty minutes later...and she pricked me and tested my hemaglobin. Recently, I have been on a protein BINGE what with iron rich cereals and iron pills and such, so to say the least, I was going to be very upset if I didn't get to donate. She came back and I WAS AT THE CUT OFF. Barely made it! But I made it, nonetheless.
So...there's a little update.
BTW.
DRAMA CLUB STATE TOMORROW.
We get to skip school. :D
Yay! Well, kay bye.  :D

BLOOD.

Donating Blood. A simple act, yet can save lives.

I recently tried to donate blood at my local Red cross on my birthday and took my parents with me. Instead of a successful donation, I was denied and slapped with a 24 hour suspension. : / My hemoglobin was too low. (Aka, IRON) Which most commonly comes from meat. Anybody else see this or have this problem themselves? Please comment with your stories! Anyway. I ended up being so disappointed that I ended up crying over it. It's so disheartening. I was then helped by every other nurse working that shift that gave me hugs...cookies and juice, and advice about how everyone is disappointed if they can't donate. Now. I can't donate yet because I want to donate at my school's drive. The lady who was helping my mom donate gave me some GREAT advice. I feel like it will work. A week before you plan to donate...eat SHREDDED WHEAT EVERY MORNING. It can be strawberry or whatever kinda frosted wheat you can find. (because it doesn't taste all that yummy without it and you'll be more likely to stick with it) AND A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE. This helps the iron get absorbed better. (wow bad grammar)
So. To my fellow vegetarians....don't give up!! People need your blood!! And even if you've been put on a lifetime ban...you can still help out by ringing the bell, or thousands of other things for Red Cross!
I've rung the bell a few times and it is great! Just bring a friend and you get to annoy customers with a loud bell until they fork over their change. ;)
HERE you can look at all the things you can do to help!
Even schedule appointments for blood donation!
http://www.redcross.org/
LOVE YOU ALL.
And as always...

Comment? Share the love? Protest the war? Whatever!
I would love some feedback, Positive or Negative. :)

First days of school among other things.

So. How are you? I'm fine thanks. Hi. :)
So. Well, I'm not quite sure how to start this one. 
Erm. School. Ew. 
Yeah. GOSH. I'm having trouble blogging today.
So, second week of school and I already had an essay due, lots of homework, and three tests. Oh boy.
Golf is going well, I guess. Not really. Just kidding. I suck. 
*sigh* 
I'm going crazy. Seriously. Like, my mind is just being very mean. Very mean. Stupid mind. :P
Erm. Veggie news!!
Did you hear about Lady Gaga's meat dress that she wore to the MTVVMAS? Holy crap.
I understand and appreciate her message, but she could've used a costume material that looked like meat. 
(In the show, Lady Gaga reiterated her stand in wearing the meat dress at VMA 2010 saying, “It is a devastation to me that I know my fans who are gay … feel like they have governmental oppression on them. That’s actually why I wore the meat tonight.”) 
So yeah. That's apparently why she wore it. GOSH. She looks like a muscle mass. It's just so GROSS. Ew. Poor animals. Ugh.
But yeah. 
I don't have a structured recipe for y'all, but something I made the other day was just a simple pasta...
I took a box of pasta(any kind..), a jar of alfredo sauce, a box of those Smart chickin breasts (the fake kind, duh), and some fresh multi colored carrots from the farmers market.
I made up the faux breasts by just cookin em in a pan, easy peasy. Then I started on the pasta, cooked that then let it drain. After...I put some water in the pot and peeled and sliced the carrots and put them in the water to cook in boiling water. I just guestimated and cooked em until they were al dente. Then I combined the pasta, chicken breast(sliced), pasta sauce, and the carrots into the bowl and let it get nice & warm. :D 
YUM. 
C'est magnifique. :D


And as always...

Comment? Share the love? Protest the war? Whatever! I would love some feedback, positive or negative. :)

AUTUMN!!

I love autumn. It is my absolute favorite season EVER. And it's starting!! YAY. Leaves are on the ground and it's still warm enough to wear a tank top so you can feel the breeze. *sigh* It's wonderful. Autumn, which also means FOOTBALL! Yeah!! I love going to school football games! :) As we approach fall, I do think it's time for an Autumn Recipe! Finally, right? It's been a while since I posted one.
Autumn has some seasonal produce such as, the pumpkin(duh), Apples!, Corn, Squash and such! So I thought, why not make a recipe of all these! And as a vegetarian cook, I feel it is my time to actually make a recipe! Try some things out and see what the result is! Now, I'll post another recipe that I loved but I will definitely post my creation in a few days/weeks whenever I'm not busy. :)

VEGGIE PIZZA WITH HERBED TOMATO CRUST

• 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
• 1-1/2 teaspoons minced fresh parsley or 1/2 teaspoon dried parsley flakes
• 1-1/2 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary or 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed
• 1 teaspoon active dry yeast
• 1/2 teaspoon sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 cup tomato juice
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1-1/2 to 1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 
  TOPPINGS:
• 1 can (8 ounces) pizza sauce
• 1 medium green pepper, chopped
• 1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
• 1 small red onion, chopped
• 1 medium tomato, chopped
• 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

Directions

• In a large bowl, combine the first seven ingredients. In a small saucepan, heat the water, tomato juice and oil to 120°-130°. Add to dry ingredients; beat until smooth. Stir in enough all-purpose flour to form a soft dough.
• Turn onto a lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes. Place in a bowl coated with cooking spray, turning once to coat top. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
• Punch dough down; roll into a 12-in. circle. Transfer to a 14-in. pizza pan coated with cooking spray; build up edges slightly.
• Spread with pizza sauce. Top with green pepper, mushrooms, onion, tomato and cheese. Bake at 400° for 25-30 minutes or until cheese is melted and edges are lightly browned. Yield: 6 slices

(Tasteofhome.com)


This goes very nicely with a tall glass of milk and it's low calorie!! How awesome! Great tasting and healthy!
Can I get an Amen? We're lucky to find that nowadays...
So anyway...Comment? Share the love? Protest the war? Whatever! I would love some feedback, positive or negative. :)
Bye!!